By Miyoko Matsubara
 |
| At Matsubara-san's house in summer 2014 |
I am honored to be given the opportunity to
share with you my first-hand experience of the Atomic bombing of HIROSHIMA.
I am going to tell you how I was injured
due to the bombing, how I struggled for survival,
And
how I dealt with the physical and mental traumas caused by the bombing.
My suffering is just one example of
hundreds of thousands of people who were injured by the Atomic Bomb.
By sharing with you what I have gone
through,
It
is my hope that you will realize the evil of wars and nuclear weapons, and that
you become convinced that
Nuclear weapons have to be eliminated so
that our sufferings will never be repeated.
70 years ago, in 1945, Japan was at war.
Elementary school children between 8 and 11
years old were urged to evacuate to the countryside for protection from the air
raids.
Children under 7 years old remained in the
city with their families.
Therefore, ordinary citizens, particularly
children younger than seven, women, the weak, and elderly were left at home,
The majority of the A-Bomb victims were
these innocent, ordinary people.
By the end of 1945, almost 140,000 people
had perished as a result of the atomic bombing.
There was no summer vacation for students
during the war.
At the time when the atomic bomb was
dropped on Hiroshima, I was only 12 years old,
Working as a mobilized student(gakuto doin学徒動員）, demolishing
wooden houses（tatemono sokai建物疎開） in order to prevent fires.
I
was about a mile(apx.1.6~7km) away from the hypocenter.
Out of about 250 classmates, I was one of apx. fifty “JUST” survivor.
In the morning of August 6, 1945, the skies
were perfectly clear, and as the sun climbed higher in the sky, the temperature
rose rapidly.
About 350,000 people were in the city on that
day including more than 40,000 military personnel.
Many
students, including myself, were working on fix building demolition sites（建物疎開：Tatemono Sokai), or
in factories or military facilities.
When I was working with my classmates,
helping to dismantle wooden houses, my best friend, Takiko, suddenly shouted,
I
can hear the sound of a B-29.” I thought this was not possible, because the
earlier air-raid alarm had already been cleared,
and
the few B-29’s spotted in the daytime had never attacked Hiroshima before.
I looked up and there, high in the sky, I
could see white smoke trailing from the plane.
Suddenly, it dropped an atomic bomb on
Hiroshima.
I
saw a flash, we say “Pika Don” in Japanese, and an explosion beyond
description.
I heard an indescribable, deafening roar.
My first thought was that the plane had aimed at me.
I have no idea how long I had been lying
but when I regained consciousness, the bright sunny morning had turned into
dark horrible night.
I
was enveloped in a dense, dusty mist.
Takiko, who had been standing next to me, had simply disappeared.
I never saw her again. I could see no one.
Then I realized that maybe I had been
thrown some distance by the blast.
I found myself lying on my right side.
I rose to my feet and was shocked when I
looked at my hands.
They
were seriously burned and swollen about two or three times their normal size.
Most of my blue work clothes were gone.
The only clothes remaining on my body were
dirty white underwear.
The
white color protected me from being scared to death, because as you know black
absorbs light, and white reflects it.
I realized that my face, hands, legs had
been burned and were swollen, with skin peeling off and hanging down in shreds.
For the next four days, I was on the verge
of death.
I suffered from a lingering high fever,
diarrhea, vomiting, and bleeding gums.
Half of my hair fell out.
Keloid scars started to develop on my face,
arms, and legs.
Seven months later, I got healthy enough to
return to school.
I kept studying hard, but because of my
poor health and severe scars on my face, called keloids.
I
could not get a job even though I managed to graduate from school.
About ten years after the bombing, when I
was a young adult,
There were numerous times when I deeply
felt the pain of being discriminated against by my own society.
For example, when I was on the train no one
been exposed to radiation and was therefore contaminated.
For the same reason, no man wanted to marry
me.
Daily life was difficult, unbearable, and
painful.
Life itself was hell.
In
1953, a Christian society in Japan made it possible for me to undergo cosmetic
and corrective surgeries.
I had twelve operations over a seven month
period.
As a result, I was able to open and close
my eyes and to straighten out my crooked fingers.
The operations made my life somewhat more
bearable, and helped me regain some of my lost dignity.
After the operations, I returned to
Hiroshima, wishing to express my gratitude to those who helped me by doing
whatever I could to help
For the next eight years, I worked as a
live-in caretaker for 30 sight-impaired orphans.
In 1962, my elder brother and his wife
passed away, leaving behind their 3 children, ages 3. 5, and 9.
I decided to raise his children.
The children love me as their own mother,
and their love has brought me endless joy and added much-needed sweetness to my
bitter life.
However, the past continues to haunt me and
other A-Bomb victims, called Hibakusha in Japanese.
In 1988, I was diagnosed with breast cancer
and had to have an operation.
The operation got rid of the cancer, “but
soon after that three polyps were found in my stomach.
The doctor says these polyps need to be
checked regularly because they may develop into cancer.
Despite all the physical and mental pain
caused to me by the bombing.
I feel energized whenever I think of all
the things that I have to do to promote peace and nuclear disarmament.
The effect of the atomic bombing was
far-reaching and ever lasting.
It indiscriminately took the lives of
numerous innocent people in an instant.
Over more than six, or seven decades, after
the war,
many people in Hiroshima are still
suffering from the after-effects of radiation and getting older.
The war ended 70 years ago, but for the hibakusha,
the atomic bombing and the war are not just
events of the past.
They continue to haunt us, both mentally
and physically.
Radiation causes cancer.
Even after we recover from one form of
cancer,
we live with the constant fear that the
cancer will return or that a different form cancer.
In a sense, for the hibakusha, every day is
“August 6”.
We have not escaped the war, nor will we
ever.
It’s always with us.
At this point, I would like to emphasize
that,
despite all the sufferings brought on by
the atomic bomb to the Japanese people,
We must not forget or ignore the sinful
role played by Japan in provoking wars in the past.
As one of the Japanese who has lived
through and survived the wartime,
I
urge every Japanese to reflect on, and acknowledge, Japan’s invasion during the
war.
In order not to present a one-sided story,
when I recount my A-Bomb experience to
people who visit Hiroshima,
I always tell them about Japan's war crimes,
let them know that Japan was both a victim and a victimizer during the Second World War.
I always tell them about Japan's war crimes,
let them know that Japan was both a victim and a victimizer during the Second World War.
However, having gone through all the pain
traumas caused by the Atomic Bomb,
I
feel that even Japan’s invasion in Asia did not justify the use of atomic
weapons against it,
In fact, any act of aggression and
invasion, past or future, should not be tackled by the use of nuclear weapons.
Nuclear and the Humankind cannot Co-exist / Nuclear Victims Forum / 竜安寺石庭 Ryoan Temple Stones Garden / ひまわり / Ave Maria
 |
| At Hijiyama(比治山)very close to Tsurumi-bashi(鶴見橋）on August 6 |
